Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize