Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I faked an abortion last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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