Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
