Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
