If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
