I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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