I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
