official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
