She is in my trunk
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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