Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
