What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
