So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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