she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize