Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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