Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
