I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
