im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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