We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
