he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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