he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
