I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
