I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
