dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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