If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to sanitize my soul.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
