Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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