I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
me + whiskey = a bad person
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
