If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
