Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I want is dick and wine.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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