ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
