it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
