you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
