party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
