Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize