One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
