apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When are your genitals available?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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