ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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