She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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