she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
