hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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