Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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