yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize