Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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