3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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