the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
God I need to hump something, right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
