I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
