What a fucking waste of an outfit
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
