She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I can't turn off my feet"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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