Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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