Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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