So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i think my cat just said my name.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
