They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize