How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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