your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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