now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize