I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
