does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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