Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i believe in u and ur pee
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
