I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
